The following is an AOL Instant Messenger conversation I (JAdoubleyou) had
with Pat (TheLastTankMage) on the afternoon of September 4, 2003. I was in
my dorm at Ithaca College with nothing to do, and he was sitting at home
with nothing to do. To make things a little less confusing I'll interject
some out-of-computer action, but this conversation has not been altered except
for the change of abbreviations to their full wordage in case you didn't
know what they stood for. This has also not been censored. My evil counterpart
has a potty mouth, so look out.
Pat has just gotten his schedule for Adirondak Commuity College's fall
semester, which begins the following week.
TheLastTankMage (3:38:27
PM):
woohoo my schedule came
JAdoubleyou
(3:38:51
PM):
well that's a pretty small margin of
error
JAdoubleyou
(3:39:00
PM):
It's September 4.
TheLastTankMage
(3:39:06
PM):
hehe yea, ACC is slow as snails
TheLastTankMage
(3:39:52
PM):
my semester would be really easy if it wasnt
for the math and Psych classes im taking
TheLastTankMage
(3:40:00
PM):
they are my only hard classes
TheLastTankMage
(3:40:37
PM):
basicly my morning is fun, and my afternoon
is boring
JAdoubleyou
(3:41:30
PM):
lol
Jim reads an article about a new Sonic game being planned. [This will
become Sonic Heroes a year later]
JAdoubleyou
(3:42:28
PM):
dude
TheLastTankMage
(3:42:39
PM):
the odd thing is, you have to take 2 non lab
sciences, so usually people pick one of the 3 sciences and do classes of
it, i did Anthro, and now im doing Psych
JAdoubleyou
(3:42:44
PM):
Sonic Adventure 3
TheLastTankMage
(3:42:46
PM):
?
TheLastTankMage
(3:42:49
PM):
oh neat
TheLastTankMage
(3:42:55
PM):
what system?
JAdoubleyou
(3:43:03
PM):
I pretty much never even dreamed they'd make
one
JAdoubleyou
(3:43:15
PM):
get this: Multi-platform
TheLastTankMage
(3:43:22
PM):
w000t!
JAdoubleyou
(3:43:28
PM):
This is awesome!
TheLastTankMage
(3:43:42
PM):
the second you said that i was all afraid they
would do it on a GC or XBox
JAdoubleyou
(3:43:49
PM):
sometime in 2003, probably fall
TheLastTankMage
(3:43:54
PM):
schweet
JAdoubleyou
(3:43:55
PM):
lol
JAdoubleyou
(3:44:13
PM):
It's definitely gonna be on GC, there are already
Sonic games for that
JAdoubleyou
(3:44:24
PM):
It's really weird, tho...playing a Sonic game
on another system...
TheLastTankMage
(3:44:32
PM):
yea i know
TheLastTankMage
(3:44:36
PM):
makes you miss the DC
JAdoubleyou
(3:46:21
PM):
well, the DC controller sucked
JAdoubleyou
(3:46:31
PM):
the GC controller is cool
TheLastTankMage
(3:46:33
PM):
so does the x-box
JAdoubleyou
(3:46:37
PM):
yeah
TheLastTankMage
(3:47:51
PM):
.... there is this fly hovering all around me
and its driving me insain
JAdoubleyou
(3:49:14
PM):
lol
JAdoubleyou
(3:49:24
PM):
We get flies sometimes
JAdoubleyou
(3:49:26
PM):
I hate them
TheLastTankMage
(3:50:15
PM):
yea i know, and its odd, we never have alot,
its always just 1 fly, and the fly seems to love to see how close he can
get to you
JAdoubleyou
(3:51:52
PM):
there's never more than one fly
JAdoubleyou
(3:52:00
PM):
but once that fly is killed, another
appears
JAdoubleyou
(3:52:34
PM):
brb
JAdoubleyou
(3:54:33
PM):
back
TheLastTankMage
(3:54:41
PM):
no your not
JAdoubleyou
(3:55:36
PM):
sure I am
JAdoubleyou
(3:55:38
PM):
see?
JAdoubleyou
(3:55:56
PM):
::is back::
TheLastTankMage
(3:56:00
PM):
nope your still gone, this is your evil
twin
JAdoubleyou
(3:56:00
PM):
so there
JAdoubleyou
(3:56:15
PM):
No no no, if I was my evil twin I'd be using
red font.
JAdoubleyou
(3:57:05
PM):
Like this! Bwahahaha, now that I have been unleashed
none can stop my plot to destroy the universe!
TheLastTankMage
(3:57:16
PM):
i would respond, but im to busy lising to Zorak
Kick your ass
JAdoubleyou
(3:57:24
PM):
LOL
JAdoubleyou
(3:57:32
PM):
Hook me up with that shit.
JAdoubleyou
(3:57:52
PM):
wait...that's not an .mp3 file, is
it?
TheLastTankMage
(3:57:56
PM):
yea
JAdoubleyou
(3:58:16
PM):
You actually were referring to the fact that
Zorak was beating me up because I'm evil, right?
TheLastTankMage
(3:58:46
PM):
no i mean the mp3 of Zorak singing Kick Your
Ass
JAdoubleyou
(3:59:04
PM):
Then hook me up with that shit and you will
be spared from my evil plans...for now.
TheLastTankMage
(3:59:39
PM):
and Zorak wouldnt kick your ass cause your evil,
he would kick your ass so he can take over your evil plans, only he would
make sure to add in a part where he kicks everyone ass one by one
JAdoubleyou
(3:59:49
PM):
lol
JAdoubleyou
(3:59:58
PM):
Well, he probably wouldn't like my evil
plans.
JAdoubleyou
(4:00:03
PM):
They don't match is style.
JAdoubleyou
(4:00:14
PM):
See, I'm a calculated, cold, ironic sort of
evil.
JAdoubleyou
(4:00:21
PM):
Zorak just wants to screw everybody.
JAdoubleyou
(4:00:42
PM):
I'd screw everybody, but they wouldn't know
that it was me screwing them, nor would they find out they were screwed until
it was too late.
JAdoubleyou
(4:01:08
PM):
I would totally, mercilessly ruin everyone's
lives, much like what Cartman did in that one episode where that kid sold
Cartman his pubes.
JAdoubleyou
(4:01:14
PM):
Man that episode was fucked up.
TheLastTankMage
(4:01:30
PM):
yes
TheLastTankMage
(4:01:41
PM):
did you ever watch that link i sent you
yesterday?
TheLastTankMage
(4:01:47
PM):
you where away when i sent it
Pat had sent a trailer for The Animatrix. This is the first time
I heard its official name.
JAdoubleyou
(4:01:53
PM):
oh yeah
JAdoubleyou
(4:02:03
PM):
Jim watched it.
TheLastTankMage
(4:02:10
PM):
he like it?
JAdoubleyou
(4:02:12
PM):
Hang on, he has an opinion on the
subject.
TheLastTankMage
(4:02:19
PM):
k
JAdoubleyou
(4:02:32
PM):
Dude, that is such a suck-@$$ name
JAdoubleyou
(4:02:54
PM):
but I can't wait to watch it.
TheLastTankMage
(4:02:55
PM):
*rips Jims head off and hands it to evil
Jim*
JAdoubleyou
(4:02:59
PM):
lol
JAdoubleyou
(4:03:10
PM):
Thank you for your support.
JAdoubleyou
(4:03:16
PM):
Yeah, thanks.
TheLastTankMage
(4:03:17
PM):
soright
JAdoubleyou
(4:03:35
PM):
The Animatrix? Just call it the Matrix
Anime
JAdoubleyou
(4:03:46
PM):
Animatrix sounds like Animaniacs!
JAdoubleyou
(4:04:06
PM):
Listen, you've gotta help me.
JAdoubleyou
(4:04:26
PM):
Evil Me has been keeping me in the back of my
brain watching Hamtaro on ten separate screens.
JAdoubleyou
(4:04:45
PM):
Stop him before it's--
JAdoubleyou
(4:04:58
PM):
Hey! Did ya miss me?
JAdoubleyou
(4:05:51
PM):
Like I was saying, I'm the opposite of Jim.
So that means, instead of wanting to entertain people, I'm going to make
them hate what they're "entertained" by so much, they'll want to gouge their
eyes out!
TheLastTankMage
(4:06:01
PM):
*has a image of Evil Jim walking into a bar
and going "Hey everybody!!" and everyone else going "Hey Evil Jim!!" and
then some sitcom opening music playing*
JAdoubleyou
(4:06:14
PM):
That's why I'm going to remake A Clockwork Orange,
only more gruesome
JAdoubleyou
(4:06:17
PM):
lol
TheLastTankMage
(4:06:24
PM):
ah ha
JAdoubleyou
(4:06:25
PM):
It's the Evil Jim Show!
JAdoubleyou
(4:06:37
PM):
...that gives me an idea.
TheLastTankMage
(4:06:45
PM):
god help us
JAdoubleyou
(4:07:11
PM):
::uses creative drive to drive Evil Jim back
into the scummy recesses of his brain where he belongs::
JAdoubleyou
(4:07:43
PM):
<corny superhero> The only place you belong,
Evil Jim, is the place that doesn't exist anywhere. </corny
superhero>
JAdoubleyou
(4:08:02
PM):
Dude that gives me an awesome idea for a comic
strip.
JAdoubleyou
(4:08:11
PM):
Evil Jim. It's perfect.
JAdoubleyou
(4:08:26
PM):
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
JAdoubleyou
(4:08:53
PM):
::dies laughing::
JAdoubleyou
(4:09:10
PM):
...dude, Good Me is dead and I didn't have to
do anything.
TheLastTankMage
(4:09:16
PM):
hehe
JAdoubleyou
(4:09:18
PM):
5w33t!!!
TheLastTankMage
(4:09:32
PM):
yea good me always was a little slow
JAdoubleyou
(4:09:50
PM):
I think I'll make this a running gag.
TheLastTankMage
(4:09:52
PM):
always had to remind him to breath, he forgots
easy
JAdoubleyou
(4:10:15
PM):
I see
JAdoubleyou
(4:10:28
PM):
I'll have to keep that in mind when I do my
own sadistic evil laugh.
JAdoubleyou
(4:10:45
PM):
Well, I'm gonna go do some stuff somewhere else
right now.
JAdoubleyou
(4:10:55
PM):
Plotting and schemeing, that sort of thing.
Catch you later.
TheLastTankMage
(4:10:57
PM):
yea 9 outta 10 evil villians die from sadistic
laughing
JAdoubleyou
(4:11:02
PM):
lol
JAdoubleyou
(4:11:06
PM):
That gives me an idea now.
TheLastTankMage
(4:11:21
PM):
your raging with ideas
JAdoubleyou
(4:11:28
PM):
The Villain Counter-Laugh Breath Bag.
TheLastTankMage
(4:11:41
PM):
hey you will make a killing
JAdoubleyou
(4:11:49
PM):
For those villians who tend to
hyperventilate.
TheLastTankMage
(4:12:06
PM):
all other villians with rely on you, so you
will control all the villians of the world
JAdoubleyou
(4:12:07
PM):
It's just a paper bag with my name on it, but
it costs...
JAdoubleyou
(4:12:10
PM):
...wait for it....
JAdoubleyou
(4:12:24
PM):
$99 99 99.99!!!!!!!!!
TheLastTankMage (4:13:00
PM):
only a penny short of a mill .... you clever
bastard
JAdoubleyou
(4:13:17
PM):
hee hee
Half an hour later, I was hard at work on strip 001 and the logo.
TheLastTankMage
(5:43:19
PM):
you wouldnt happen to know when the borders
up here closes?
JAdoubleyou
(5:43:25
PM):
nope
TheLastTankMage
(5:44:17
PM):
oh cool i just found out myself
TheLastTankMage
(5:44:22
PM):
they close at 11, perfect
JAdoubleyou
(5:44:36
PM):
Dude I didn't know they were open that
late
JAdoubleyou
(5:48:33
PM):
Okay, my Ultimate Master Plan is
complete.
JAdoubleyou
(5:48:59
PM):
You feel the inexplicable, yet irresistable,
urge to maximize your IM window.
Minutes pass.
JAdoubleyou
(5:52:12
PM):
FEEL IT!!!!!!
Still more minutes pass.
JAdoubleyou
(5:55:09
PM):
maaaaaaaaaan, I really want to show you
this.
2 1/2 hours later...
TheLastTankMage
(8:24:57
PM):
you me what?
JAdoubleyou
(8:25:31
PM):
Ah, you're finally back.
TheLastTankMage
(8:25:55
PM):
had to buy my school books, and Blade
2
JAdoubleyou
(8:25:57
PM):
Prepare yourself, mortal, for my most diabolical
and ingenious idea every! (Which I stole partly from you)
JAdoubleyou
(8:26:02
PM):
shweet
JAdoubleyou
(8:26:24
PM):
Behold NEW
SERIES 33!
JAdoubleyou
(8:26:36
PM):
[maximize window]
JAdoubleyou wants to directly
connect (8:26:43
PM).
TheLastTankMage is now directly
connected (8:26:44
PM).
JAdoubleyou
(8:26:59
PM):
Or, as I affectionately call it...
JAdoubleyou
(8:27:08
PM):
TheLastTankMage
(8:27:33
PM):
why do you have the nike logo on your
forhead?
JAdoubleyou
(8:27:46
PM):
lol that's my split-curl
TheLastTankMage
(8:28:03
PM):
Just Do It!!!
JAdoubleyou
(8:28:13
PM):
I didn't mean for it to look like that, but
it's cooler-looking than my original idea
JAdoubleyou
(8:28:23
PM):
man, you're ruining it!!!!
TheLastTankMage
(8:28:48
PM):
FroMan!!! with his mightly Nike logo of
DOOOOM
JAdoubleyou
(8:28:58
PM):
Okay, you're dying in the next strip.
JAdoubleyou
(8:29:06
PM):
speaking of which...
TheLastTankMage
(8:29:07
PM):
hehehehe
JAdoubleyou
(8:29:19
PM):
TheLastTankMage
(8:29:59
PM):
LOL
TheLastTankMage
(8:30:51
PM):
i like the way you drew yourself, i be perfectly
honest ... it looks like a real Web comic
JAdoubleyou
(8:31:05
PM):
heh, well it doesn't take much, does
it?
TheLastTankMage
(8:31:06
PM):
and i mean a good one
JAdoubleyou
(8:31:13
PM):
I don't think so.
TheLastTankMage
(8:31:17
PM):
like one with good art
JAdoubleyou
(8:31:18
PM):
I mean, look at MegaTokyo and Exploitation
Now
TheLastTankMage
(8:31:36
PM):
well ok maybe not THAT quality art, but cartoony
good art
TheLastTankMage
(8:31:41
PM):
like PVP
TheLastTankMage
(8:31:47
PM):
only ... not ... as ... good
JAdoubleyou
(8:32:01
PM):
ah-HA!
I make a buddy icon with the Evil Jim logo on it. (This was back in the
day when you had to approve each new buddy icon yourself.)
JAdoubleyou
(8:32:40
PM):
get my new icon, bitch
TheLastTankMage
(8:33:06
PM):
no i will never sucumb to your evil icon and
be forced to it evil ways!!!
JAdoubleyou
(8:34:34
PM):
yes you will!
TheLastTankMage
(8:34:46
PM):
but im serious, it looks really good, and it
DOES look like a good web comic, let me put it this way, i have seen ALOT
of web comics that look ALOT worse
JAdoubleyou
(8:35:00
PM):
Yeah, like the stuff on KeenSpace.
Eleven months later Pat's webcomic, Evil Penguin, will move to
KeenSpace.
TheLastTankMage
(8:35:05
PM):
hehe
TheLastTankMage
(8:37:02
PM):
oh and hey look its your evil icon ....
hEY
wait a minute!!
TheLastTankMage
(8:37:25
PM):
WHAHAHAHA
JAdoubleyou
(8:37:28
PM):
Yes! YES!!!
JAdoubleyou
(8:37:38
PM):
You have been corrupted by the
evilness!
JAdoubleyou
(8:37:56
PM):
actually you need to pick a color that is the
opposite of your current color, so you'd be more black
TheLastTankMage
(8:37:59
PM):
My evilness is a darker shade of red then your
evilness
JAdoubleyou
(8:38:07
PM):
you wouldn't be red at all.
JAdoubleyou
(8:38:19
PM):
That's because my shade is more of an opposite
to the shade of blue that I use.
TheLastTankMage
(8:38:26
PM):
ahhhh
JAdoubleyou
(8:38:54
PM):
I didn't want to use solid Red anyway, that's
overused
TheLastTankMage
(8:39:08
PM):
yea totally
JAdoubleyou
(8:39:12
PM):
I use an unusual shade. It's more evil that
way.
JAdoubleyou
(8:39:17
PM):
There you go.
JAdoubleyou
(8:39:37
PM):
Now design a cool logo and make a webcomic,
and together we will CONQUER THE UNIVERSE!!!!
TheLastTankMage
(8:40:49
PM):
so let me get this straght ... we are going
to conquer the universe, throught evil logos and webcomics
JAdoubleyou
(8:41:06
PM):
No, that is only the first step
TheLastTankMage
(8:41:24
PM):
ah ha i was hoping so
JAdoubleyou
(8:41:33
PM):
Once we gain a cult following, we will program
our minions to spread throught the world.
JAdoubleyou
(8:41:58
PM):
They will reprogram every DDR machine everywhere
to transmit a hypnotic signal to all who play.
JAdoubleyou
(8:42:27
PM):
And once we have millions under our control,
they shall infiltrate broadcast stations worldwide.
JAdoubleyou
(8:43:11
PM):
Everyone who has a television will see anime,
all the time.
Pat's phone rings. Matt Williams, aka CC, is calling.
TheLastTankMage
(8:43:19
PM):
hold on matts on the evil hotline
JAdoubleyou
(8:43:23
PM):
And they will like it, because that is what
our hypnosis will tell them.
JAdoubleyou
(8:43:27
PM):
Ok.
JAdoubleyou
(8:47:20
PM):
Tell him I've got DDR here
TheLastTankMage
(8:48:54
PM):
he says guess what? he has 7th mix!!!! *does
naga laugh*
JAdoubleyou
(8:49:00
PM):
so?
JAdoubleyou
(8:49:03
PM):
7th is hard
TheLastTankMage
(8:49:17
PM):
for you maybe
JAdoubleyou
(8:49:19
PM):
I'm fine with 5th.
JAdoubleyou
(8:49:25
PM):
Besides, it beats not having any.
TheLastTankMage
(8:49:43
PM):
because you know you cant beat me
TheLastTankMage
(8:50:07
PM):
but if it makes you feel better mark wupt his
ass
TheLastTankMage
(8:50:20
PM):
and he liked ruin explorers
JAdoubleyou
(8:50:52
PM):
nice
JAdoubleyou
(8:50:57
PM):
lol
JAdoubleyou
(8:51:03
PM):
Mark is still king I see
JAdoubleyou
(8:51:23
PM):
Alex and I are going to practice. A
lot.
TheLastTankMage
(8:51:35
PM):
he hates freakles so he must die
TheLastTankMage
(8:52:28
PM):
live sunday on payperview the ultimate tag team
DDR match
TheLastTankMage
(8:53:44
PM):
The 4 horse man explode as the crimson christian
and spiderman take on famine and wat
TheLastTankMage
(8:54:04
PM):
IN A STEEL CAGE PAD!!!!!!!
JAdoubleyou
(8:54:07
PM):
...
JAdoubleyou
(8:54:11
PM):
WTF
TheLastTankMage
(8:55:16
PM):
matt will email you tommarrow
JAdoubleyou
(8:55:20
PM):
ok
TheLastTankMage
(8:56:46
PM):
im gonna go watch Blade 2
TheLastTankMage
(8:56:54
PM):
and practice on my evilness
JAdoubleyou
(8:57:31
PM):
ok
JAdoubleyou
(8:57:32
PM):
later
TheLastTankMage
(8:57:45
PM):
cya
TheLastTankMage direct connection is
closed (8:57:49
PM).